Bad Day
Phone lost in Venice. First of three flights delayed by 1 hour. Second flight delayed by 4.5 hours, third flight unlikely. Night in Newark ahead? Let’s see if my luck holds out.
Zach Has Travel, Where Were You
Being a formal collection of monographs and pictorial depictions that take my travels as their subject, with an emphasis on scoffing, arrogant preening, and bright lights.
Anonymous asked: If you could travel back in time and be a Roman emperor for a day, which would you be and why?
Caligula, because he invented the wheel. (of fucking)
The view from the train. America is mostly flat but Europe has some pretty great tits.
Ah, Venice. Where the boats are boaty and the water is opaque.
Anonymous asked: Really the art is nice and all, but where are the vampire covens? I mean it is Europe, right? Or are you at Epcot.
Epcot has money vampires and pedophile werewolves and frankensteins made of discarded dreams. Europe just has boring old blood vampires and stupid old constant fear and murder.
Anonymous asked: Dear Zach,
If Germany and Italy formed a NEW axis (a reunion tour) who who be the new member - CAN'T BE JAPAN>?
I’m gonna go with America, fuck yeah. There’s no feeling like waking up and realizing that you are the bad guy. Embrace it.
Anonymous asked: How many beers does it take to wake up, look into a small, post-communist mirror and realize... oh my, I look just like a beer (foamy head, yellow to brown flesh tone, tiny air bubbles gurgling out of every orifice)?
As it turns out, seven. When I looked into the mirror, I discovered my inner hops.
Anonymous asked: Why did you leave Italy? Why, Zach...?
Beer vs. wine.
“Hey wolfchild, what are you thinking about?”
“BLOODSEX”
“…what did you say, wolfchild?”
“MEAT FOR MY DEATHCHAMBER”
“Are you feeling okay, wolfchild?”
“YOU SMELL OF DINNER”
The Internet didn’t invent shit. This DERP is at least 500 years old.
